


Misdirection

by carolion



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Canonical Character Death, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-09
Updated: 2012-12-09
Packaged: 2017-11-20 16:49:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/587592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolion/pseuds/carolion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything falls into place when you're dying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Misdirection

“No. Not a chance.”

“Pads, come on, be reasonable.”

“Impossible. He would _never_ -he’s not-“

Sirius’s jaw worked wordlessly for a few moments before clenching tightly, a muscle in his lower cheek pulsing angrily. He glared at his best friend, dark eyes mistrustful and brooding.

James sighed, running a hand through his already-wild hair. Sirius could be maddeningly blind when it came to their werewolf friend, and obnoxiously protective. To be fair, he didn’t want to believe the rumors either. Remus had been their friend since first year, and he was the strongest, sweetest, most docile member of the group, and yet…

There was a spy amongst their midst. 

“Remus would _never_ betray the Order. Or _you_ ,” Sirius bit out, still glaring at his dark-haired companion. “And you are a fucking idiot for thinking he would.”

“I don’t- I don’t want to believe it either, Pads. Remus has been nothing but perfect to us. But we have to be careful. And because you’re so close to him…” James trailed off, clearly reluctant to continue. 

Sirius fixed him with an hard look. “Go on,” the animagus growled.

“Well, if you were the secret-keeper you might be tempted or trickled in telling him, we all know how much you trust him.” James finished, looking away from his oldest friend.

Sirius looked irate, a dark cloud of emotion thundering dangerously on his face. But instead of exploding, he seemed to swallow back a few words and scowl hatefully at James.

James had never seen such a look from Sirius, not even when his parents disowned him.

“Fine, fine,” Sirius snapped, “but how would you like it if I told you that Lily was the spy and you couldn’t trust her?”

Sirius turned and stormed out of the room, only pausing to throw James a disgusted look as the be-speckled man called out, “But I _love_ her.”

"I know."

____

 

_What an awkward conversation this is,_ James thought mildly. He wished Sirius was here.

It was funny how Sirius was so mad at James, when the plan had been Sirius’s all along. You-Know-Who would automatically assume that the Potter’s secret-keeper would be the famous, daring, fiercely loyal Sirius Black. Sirius didn’t want to take the chance of being caught and tortured into accidentally giving his best friends away to the Dark Lord, so her suggested that Peter, the least impressive and most forgettable of the Marauders should be within the Fidelus charm.

Perhaps James shouldn’t have mentioned the idea that Remus could be the spy.

They knew someone was leaking information to the other side, but they couldn’t figure out whom it could be. Everyone in the Order had been bewildered ( _as spies were meant to act when investigated,_ James thought wryly) and all swore their loyalty again and again. One night, one impromptu Order meeting, Peter had brought up the idea that perhaps _Remus_ was the spy. It was a full moon, so of course their furry friend wasn’t with them.

Almost immediately Sirius shouted and flipped a chair over and did all manner of dramatic things. It was, James remembered, so like the Blacks to be dramatic. Most of the Order seemed shocked and appalled at this idea. Remus? Their sweet, book-loving Remus? A spy for the Dark Lord? Impossible.

But then Peter began to point out facts. Like how the You-Know-Who was gathering supporters in giants, vampires, and (of course) the unpredictable werewolves. Also, how absent Remus always was; how he visited werewolf packs to gather information (if they were with or against Voldemort); and how quiet and removed the man was (and always had been.) Once, when they were schoolboys still, Remus admitted that sometimes he felt out of place among his friends. 

All of Peter’s points made sense to the members of the Order. So they watched him.

Sirius was the only one who continued to deny Remus’ spy-status, stubbornly refusing to believe that his long-time friend could be a traitor.

James had to agree. It didn’t seem… _right._ Remus was so full of goodness, even if he was a ‘dark creature.’ Remus wasn’t easily tempted. Not even Sirius could make him do things that he didn’t want to do. If Sirius Black couldn’t get you to do something, the Dark Lord certainly couldn’t. Could he?

Still, Sirius had told him to make Peter the secret-keeper, so that was what he was here to do. Taking a deep breath and hoping he was making the right decision, James turned with a brilliant smile to face his short, pudgy friend.

“Pete!”

_____

 

There was something odd about Peter’s smile, James decided. Something different, a little weird about how his eyes lit up when he was told he was to be secret-keeper. Like it was the best present anyone could ever ask for. 

Yes, a little flash of triumph he’d seen on his school-friend’s face, and a little hint of greed. But then Pete became the lovable, bumbling fool that James always loved and tolerated, the person who they joked with, helped out, and teased constantly. 

So James let it go.

But as he locked up his door for the night, he couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy as the effects of the Fidelus charm set in.

____

 

There are things that James Potter thinks when he realizes Voldemort is coming for his family.

_Why couldn’t I save Peter?_ Was one such thought. _Why weren’t we enough for him? Why did Peter turn to Voldemort?_

He couldn’t understand. And he felt a gut-wrenching sorrow for his cowardly friend.

The second was, _Sirius is going to be so mad that I’m dead._ He doesn’t even question the fact that he’s going to die as the sky grows dark and the wind whips. All his instincts are screaming at him, but there is one low, eerie voice among the chaos that tells him he’s going to die. _I hope he can forgive me,_ James thinks idly as he sweats and pushes back the door, attempting to hold off the Dark Lord.

His third thought, as the door banged open and he bolted towards the stairs, yelling at Lily to grab Harry and run, was _God, Remus, I’m so sorry._ How could they have ever thought Remus was the spy? Remus was strong. He was stronger than most people. He was the only person who control Sirius, for example.

And then it hit him.

_“How would you feel if I told you Lily was the spy and you should not trust her?”_

_“But I love her.”_

_“I know.”_

James looked up into the cold, proud face of Voldemort as a sudden, shocking thought crossed his mind. _Sirius loves Remus._ It was not so shocking, actually. Memories flicked through his head, and he saw Sirius worried and pacing by Remus in a hospital; Sirius hopeful and anxious to please his werewolf friend; the Black heir jumping to Remus’ defense immediately. It was so obvious.

His last living thought, as the jade green bolt of lightning struck his chest and cast him aside like some light rag doll was, _Lily._ He hopes his friends will make it out alive, but mostly he hopes his wife will survive. 

She doesn’t.

But Harry does.

____

 

Sirius Black wakes up panting and shaking the very moment James Potter dies.

There is no light in the room; it’s late, very late. For a desperate, blind moment, Sirius lurches towards the left side of the bed, hands groping for the warm body he knows should be lying there. His fingertips skim the curve of a sharp hipbone, thumb automatically settling into the groove of a scar he knows is there. 

He’s calmed, for a moment. 

There are only two reasons Sirius would wake up in the middle of the night for no reason. One was if Remus was hurt, missing, or dead. Sirius laid his head on his partner’s shoulder, kissing the pale skin there, a piece that was not yet marred with a scar. Obviously his werewolf was safe and sound. The second reason…

James. Something-no, not something. James was dead. 

Sirius knew it as well as he knew his name, and he breathed out pain and remorse, trying to keep his movements slow and controlled. He wanted to scream, to cry, to hit something.

No, not something.

_Peter._

Sirius shakes with rage, his lips in a tight line as he attempts to keep still, to keep Remus from waking. He closes his eyes, calming himself, making a decision. Sighing, the animagus lifts off the bed, and leans over his sleeping lover, running a finger down one scarred cheek and kissing his unwrinkled forehead. 

“I hope you’ll forgive me, someday Moony,” Sirius whispered, just the faintest sound in the darkness of the night. “I knew it wasn’t you.” There’s almost pride in that statement, most definitely defiance. “I love you, Remus.” Another kiss, this time on sleeping lips, and Sirius disappears.

Remus, shifts and rolls over, searching for warmth that isn’t there.


End file.
